Shifting long standing obligations created from witnessing bullying

“You’re a fat b….. taking up so much room I can’t get past.”

My 11 year old self was stunned witnessing this interaction between a complete stranger to someone I love deeply. As Gabor Mate states, its not the event that creates trauma as much as the meaning you keep giving it. I gave it meaning of confusion, mistrust and the need to heal others/social prejudices.

My little self couldn’t comprehend someone being so mean, cruel or prejudiced. How could they not see the beauty, the heart, the love, the kindness this person exuded. How could they be so blind.

The double whammy for me came from witnessing (or lack of) no-one defending this lovely person who had been insulted. Where are the adults defending this beautiful person.  Is there no-one who can see her real heart self? Is everyone this cruel? Can no-one else see how affected she was?

A real heart-impactful moment of experiencing the notion silence is complacent agreement or permission.

It set in motion a curiosity based on trauma. What makes people tick. At university in addition to clinical psychology I studied sociology, universal religions, social psychology. Milgram's studies on how people conform to the point of fatally harming others; and bystander apathy. Gratefully Thetahealing helped me understand the genetic and historical inherited belief systems.

Big motivation indeed.

What I didn’t realise was at that moment, my 11 year old self decided I needed to protect this person and energetically connected to them. She decided if she shifted enough in her she could stop cruelty, prejudice. A beautify aspiration and intent.

Except for the ways it limited me. I felt this beloved persons pain. Kept my goals and values aligned with them, rather than my authentic self.

Recently this person has been very ill and I was surprised to see my 11 year old self show up. Motivation for my previously exciting work, life and wellbeing goals dissolved. 11 year old saying "uh no - remember you’ve got thing to sort". And out of an old forgotten habit. I listened.

Thank goodness for my capacities with ThetaHealing, Feminine Power and the psychology of heart work my colleague Jo and I have been exploring for years.

Yes, the more you shift your inner stories the more you witness transformation on the outside, yet my little one didn’t understand you can shift this through a greater force rather than having to do it one her own. After understanding this, she feels so much more supported, relaxed and freed. And able to grow into her authentic self rather than live someone else’s life.

Today two of my amazing clients had their exact version of these stories. Merging with someone they loved to attempt for feel worthy and heal them; and holding self back to help another.  I know we’re not alone in these patterns.

I’d love to hear what your pivotal moments have been (like my little 11 year old self).

If you’re curious to add some extra tools to your transforming kit, I’d love to see you join the series of upcoming workshops. They really are profound. Starting 4 April.

You can book a discovery call here to discover more.